The Want To Be Loved
by tallnut
Summary: Hogwarts held its tenth commemorative celebration. Snape finds himself in a relationship he never agreed to with Harry,the saviour of the Wizarding world and the person he hated the most.


Title: The Want to be Loved.

Pairings: Harry/Severus

Warnings: M/M, Slash, Smut

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

* * *

><p>The Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry had been fully restored a year after the war. Albus Dumbledore remained the Headmaster of the school since he and most of the faculties had survived the war.<p>

Ten years after the second Wizarding war, Hogwarts held a celebration for its re-establishment and to commemorate the people who take part in the battle of Hogwarts.

It was a day before the start of the school term. Every students, parents, alumni and faculties of the school gathered together to celebrate.

Severus Snape, like the others had survived the war. He had been given medal of honour for his noble contribution during the war. He had helped Harry Potter to defeat the dark Lord Voldemort, acting as double agent for the light - what Potter stated with the Ministry during his trial.

While everyone was enjoying the party at the great hall, Snape, clad in his usual teaching robes, sat alone broodingly at the farthest corner table with a large bottle of brandy accompanying him.

He was pouring himself a generous amount of amber liquid on his glass and draining it thirstily with one gulp. Then his eyes would wander in the crowd sneering disgustedly at their merriment.

Snape never liked celebration at all; he never intended to return at Hogwarts especially when he had known that he continued to exist after what that snake had done to him. All thanks to Harry Potter the boy who played hero. He snorted grudgingly at the thought.

It was because of the determination of Dumbledore and the lack of capable replacement for the position of potion master that he was again forced to teach dunderheads at Hogwarts.

"Do you think Harry Potter will come tonight?" someone said as they halt in front of his table obviously not noticing his presence.

Snape muttered 'who cares?' bitterly on his glass as he take another swig of his brandy.

"Oooh I hope he will, did you know that he had been given a promotion to be the head Auror at the Ministry? On top of that he become the MVP of the year in professional Quidditch, I'm looking forward to meet him personally." Exclaimed the other person as they continued to pass his table.

He scoffed repulsively.

"Hello Severus," came a delight greeting from his side, it was Dumbledore, wearing a revolting violet and gold dress robes. "Why don't you join the party, Severus? There is no pleasure just sitting here alone. Why don't you mingle and chat with the others?"

"Firstly headmaster, it is not in my nature to mingle or to chat with others, unless it is an urgent matter of life and death. Otherwise, I do not bother myself with their personal issues. Secondly, I am sure that you are already well aware that I am not fond, nor will ever bring myself to fancy festivities like this." He said in his monotonous tone.

"Suit yourself, Severus." Dumbledore said smiling at him. His blue eyes peculiarly twinkling at him. Then he left Snape's side to rejoin the crowd.

Snape shook his head. That look on the headmaster's eyes told him that the old coot might be up to something that he is not aware of, maybe one of his whim.

He waved this thoughts away, as it was already well known that the headmaster is sometimes – no, most of the times, weird.

Moments later the great oak door opened and Harry entered the hall along with his two best friends, Ron and Hermione.

Everyone applauded ecstatically, while some of them shook their hands in congratulatory as they made their way to give courtesy to the headmaster.

Dumbledore gave them a great warm hug. He silenced the crowd, cleared his throat, and then he began to speak: "Everyone, I present to you Ms. Hemione Granger, Mr. Ron Weasley and Mr. Harry Potter, to whom we owe our peace and freedom from the threat, that is Voldemort." he said sincerely.

There was another round of rapturous applause from the crowd. Some wizards and witches gathered closely to where the golden trio stood, seizing opportunities to have a small talk with them, to have a picture with them, or at least to shake their hands.

The trio were, of course, very accommodating when it comes to publicity.

Snape, still sitting at the farthest corner of the room, glared intently at them, and was muttering ferociously under his breath, "Ms. Insufferable know-it-all, Mr. Red-headed idiot and The-boy-who-played-hero." He took another swig off his glass, "Rubbish."

His head was staring to buzz and felt a bit dizzy, but his confidence in alcohol tolerance was quite lofty. He believed that he was just a bit tipsy and will never admit that he was already drunk since he almost emptied the large bottle by himself.

As he continued to drown himself in alcohol, Potter took notice of him from the crowd. He excused himself in a conversion between Professor McGonagall and Professor Lupin to set out towards him.

"Is this seat taken, professor?" Harry asked politely.

Snape snapped his head up to look at the person talking to him. The sudden movement made his surroundings wobble. He squint his eyes as though he has a very bad eye sight, "Ah... Mr. Potter, the-boy-saviour." He said mockingly, "No, that – no one wants to sit there, please by all means sit down."

Harry took the seat next to Snape.

Snape hummed cheerily as he looked everywhere ignoring the boy sitting next to him.

"How are you, Professor?" Harry asked trying to get his attention.

Snape looked at him and replied balefully, "Unfortunately, I'm still alive, thank you."

Silence.

"Oh how rude of me," Snape said in a sneer. "Would you like a drink, Mr. Potter?" then he conjured a glass out of thin air and filled it with brandy emptying the large bottle. "My apologies, that is all I got." His voice was thick of loathing.

Seeing that Potter had emptied his glass in one gulp and was again making an attempt to strike another conversation with him, he banged his hands on the table and said, "Well that's for me, Mr. Potter. Why don't you go back to your friends and fans? They might be looking for you." Through his gritted teeth.

"But Sir I—"

"I'll take my leave, Mr. Potter, do enjoy the party." Snape snapped as he stood abruptly that made his head spin and almost fell over. Luckily Harry caught him before he fainted.

XXX

_Harry Potter, it's been what? Eleven years? And yet I still can't forgive you for giving my life back. After I gave the memories for you to defeat the dark lord, you stubbornly came back to me and let me live. Why did you save me? I did not need saving. _

_What is the point of saving me? You loathe me, Potter, what else do you want from me? Revenge? You could just leave me there to die, but no, you choose to play hero. Oh how I hate you Potter!_

_As long as I live, I'll only remember every pain and sufferings that I've been through my whole life. I will never be happy as long as I breathe. If only I could forget._

"To forget..." Snape mumbled in his sleep.

A ray of sunlight seeped through the curtains, "Uhn," Snape, woke up blearily, his head throbbing painfully.

'What happened last night?' he thought 'I think I was drunk and passed out.'

He tried to rethink what happed after he passed out but he couldn't remember a thing.

He tried to stir from where he lay, and to his shock, Harry Potter was laying on top of him. His hands splayed on both sides pinning him down on the bed, in addition to his horror, they were both naked.

Snape sat up immediately throwing Harry out of him and off the bed, which made him land with a loud thud on the floor.

"Ow..." Harry moaned as he rubbed the back of his head.

He sat up, which made his mop of a head visible on the edge of the bed. Snape glared at him.

"Potter!" Snape screeched in an outrage.

"Morning, professor." Harry replied sleepily.

"Do not 'Morning, Professor' me! I demand you to tell me where the hell am I? And why are you – me—where are my clothes Potter!" Snape bellowed in anger.

"Please stop shouting Sir, I can hear you very well," he said, as he placed his index finger in his ear.

"You are in my place, and your clothes are over there by the couch." Harry pointed towards the direction of the couch where the clothes were laid unceremoniously on it.

Snape snatched the sheet to cover him as he wobbly got out of the bed. He felt a twinge of pain on his back side which made him turn to Harry and yell at him once more.

"Potter!"

"Sir!"

Harry was now standing up revealing his glorious naked body. Snape blushed at the sight.

"Don't tell me that we - you and I had - had -" He can't bring himself to say the word.

"Sex," Harry supplied and nodded, "Yes, we had sex." He said casually.

"How?" Snape asked in disbelief.

"Well," Harry turned scarlet red. "Uhm... how do I start, at first we were kissing, then I started to unbutton your clothes. Gods, why does your clothes have such many buttons? Then I remove my pa—"

"That's not what I meant, Potter!" he roared.

"I mean why did we do it? What for?" he bellowed angrily.

"You seduced me." Harry replied as-a-matter-of-factly.

"I - I s-seduce you?" Snape yelled in bewilderment, "When?" He walked towards his clothes and started putting them on. "Where's my wand Potter?"

Harry nodded again "Last night," he said calmly. "On the bed side table."

"Last night? I don't remember what happened last night." Snape said, flustered, while pointing his wand to Harry. "Tell me the truth Potter, or I'll hex you with killing curse, right then and there." He said menacingly.

"Did you poison on me last night?"

"No."

"Did you put imperious curse on me?"

"No."

"Did you force me to have sex with you?"

"No."

"Did I come here on my own free-will?"

"Yes."

"Are you gay, Potter?" He asked unbelievably.

"Yes."

"Are you telling the truth?"

"Yes, and if you still have doubts, I have a bottle of veritaserum on my potion cabinet. You are free to use it on me." He said.

It was an eye-opener for Snape. His mouth fall agape at the things he had just heard.

"Do you have a lover?"

"No. I don't have one, and I never had sex with the opposite sex either. Last night was my first." He smiled.

Snape flared up, "Do you think this is funny, Potter? Do you think this is all a game? Is this your revenge? Taking advantage over your drunken ex-professor, had sex with him, gained experience from him so that YOU will make the front page of the Daily Prophet? Is that what this is all about, Potter? Want more publicity, do we? Still aren't satisfied with your fame? And where that leaves me Potter? In shame? A laughing stock?" he said indignantly.

"No. No! It's not what you think!" Harry said defensively, "I – I just -"

"Enough Potter! I don't need your explanations, I had enough!" Snape yelled as he run towards the door, "I don't want to see your face anymore!"

BANG!

Snape slammed the door so hard that the glass ornaments on Harry's wall rattled, fell and shattered on the floor.

Snape apparated as soon as he stepped out of Potter's flat. He landed outside the castle's gate where two winged-boars were located at each end.

He proceeded immediately towards his private chambers in the dungeons and locked himself in. Spending the whole day loathing Potter and pondering how he had ended in that situation.

Evening came, it was the only time he had left the dungeons to attend the welcoming ceremony.

It was all the same, faculty members sat on along together on the staff table, with Dumbledore sitting in the middle, excitedly waiting for the new students to arrived and be sorted.

Old students were seated at their respective four long house tables, Griffyndors sat at the most far side of the hall, and next to them were the Hufflepuffs, Ravenclaws and Slytherins on the other side.

Snape haughtily entered the great hall using the back entrance near the staff table, taking his usual seat, facing his Slytherin house.

The pain on his backside still remained, which made him hissed and winced as he sat down.

"Are you alright, Severus?" inquired Minerva McGonagall through her square-rimmed spectacles.

"I'm fine, Minerva," he replied irritably.

"Oh thank goodness, I was so worried after what happened to you last night." She said in relief.

Snape looked at her, "Did you know what happened last night?" he asked, aghast.

"Of course, you were very drunk and fell unconscious, luckily Potter caught you, we recommended taking you to the hospital wing but he insisted he'd take care of you, so we let him." She said reassuringly.

"What?" he burst out loudly. His voice echoed in the great hall, which made every head turn unto him. McGonagall startled.

Flustered at the sudden attention, he cleared his throat and continued in a hiss, "Why did you let him take me?" shaking with anger.

"Well, Severus, I guess now is the time you should admit that you're a terrible drunk and if Potter weren't there -"

"Then isn't that Poppy's job? Not Potter's?"He spat Potter's name, ignoring what she was saying.

"Just so you know you made Potter worry the most, Severus, I think it's best to thank him." She said sternly.

"Thank him?" his voice rising again, "I will do no-!"

He was interrupted by Albus Dumbledore who approached them and speaks in a low voice, 'Minerva it's time...'

She excused herself between them, and Snape glared at her until she was gone out the two oak doors.

"Did you enjoy the party last night, Severus?" came Dumbledore's voice with an amusement tone on it.

Snape snapped his head towards the headmaster and scowled. He decided not to reply, restraining himself not strangle or hex the old coot sitting apart from him.

Albus smiled back with his eyes twinkling oddly.

Suddenly the new students had arrived. McGonagall started calling them one by one, while they put on the sorting hat and sorted into the four houses.

Once the last student had been sorted into Ravenclaw, Albus Dumbledore gave his usual welcoming speech and reminders.

At the end of his speech, he once again cleared his throat, "Now, this year our beloved Defence against the Dark Arts teacher Professor Lupin, has retired," a sea of dismayed groaned were heard from the students, "Because he and his family will be migrating permanently away from Britain." He continued.

Snape, new to the news raised a questioning eyebrow. He turned to look to where Lupin usually sits; he didn't notice that it was empty.

"Why do I have the feeling that I'm the only one who doesn't know the wolf's leaving?" he muttered under his breath audible only to the one sitting beside him, McGonagall.

"He kept it secret until last night. He made the announcement at the end of the party, obviously you we're unconscious that's why you didn't know." She told him plainly. "Plus, he doesn't want his students to be disappointed if they already knew it a bit early. I'm sure you are aware how the students were close to him?" McGonagall said.

Snape snorted.

"Who'll replace him then?" he asked.

But before McGonagall could answer, Dumbledore speak in a loud voice, "Now please, let us give a warm welcome to our new Defence against the Dark Arts Professor, Mr. Harry James Potter."

Flabbergasted, Severus Snape almost toppled from his chair the moment the announcement has made.

XXX

The next day, Severus Snape cursed under his breath as he recalled their conversation with the headmaster last night in his office.

_"Headmaster, why did you hire that boy?" Snape almost growled at his superior._

_"Harry had the qualification to teach defence against the dark arts. As we all know he taught D.A during his sixth year, remember? He had defeated Voldemort and he was the youngest Auror in history surpassing Tonks. He has the on hand skill in encountering the dark arts, his intellectual proficiency exceeds my expectation and the students love him, as much as they loved Remus," he said. "So I cannot fathom why I didn't." he said with a hint of amusement in his tone._

_"But I heard he had an offer from the Ministry to be the Head Auror." Snape said hotly._

_"Ah yes, but he turned it down. He said he had enough adventures to fill his life time and wanted to lay low as a teacher," said Dumbledore as he offered him lemon drops._

_Snape refuse._

_ "You looked troubled, something happened?" said Dumbledore, as he scrutinized him under his blue gaze._

_"Nothing, Professor," he lied._

_ "Fine. It's already late Severus, and classes start tomorrow. Go get some rest." Said Dumbledore._

"Good Morning, Professor," a voice came behind him which took him out of his thoughts.

"G' morning." he replied absent-mindedly.

He hadn't realized that it was Harry who greeted him, until the boy sat beside him.

"Potter!" he snarled, "why are you sitting there? That's Minerva's chair, yours is on the other side." Snape hissed.

"I swap seats with professor McGonagall." Harry said.

"That is not allowed."

"Says who?"

"Says, me!" said Snape, infuriated. "Look Potter, just stop talking to me. I was serious when I said that I don't want to see you anymore, so do me a favour and stay away from me."

"But there is something I wanted to tell you." Harry insisted.

"What is it?" said Snape as he drank his juice from the golden goblet.

"I like you."

A shower of pumpkin juice came bursting out of Snape's mouth as he choke on it, making him to cough very hard, attracting attention from the staff table. Harry patted his back, so he could breathe normally.

"Get your hands off me, Potter." he whizzed.

Snape glared at Harry, "I'm sorry Potter, but I do not fancy you." He deadpanned.

"You do."

"What?"

"You said, you DO fancy me," Harry said smiling thoughtfully.

"When?" Snape asked in bewilderment.

"On the night of the commemoration party," Harry said.

Snape pinched the bridge of his nose sceptically. He had no recollection of what happened that night.

"Potter whatever I said to you that night was not true. I do not remember anything that happened that night, so please stop pestering me," he told him, repressing his anger.

He stood up to leave when Harry grabbed the sleeve of his robe. "Let go of me, Potter. It might have escaped your hearing, but the first bell had just rung, and I need to get to my class and so do you. That is, if you are really serious in teaching" he snapped as he snatched his sleeve out of Harry's grip.

The foul mood didn't left Snape the whole day. It was only the first day, but he was giving out mountains of homework to his students.

It got worse when his last period with third year Gryffindor and Slytherin class had managed to blow up several cauldrons splattering sticky gooey gray stuff, which emits a strong smell of rotten cheese on the ceiling, walls and all over the floor.

In his anger he deducted the entire class a hundred points each. Even his favourite Slytherin house didn't escape his spite.

Severus Snape had just broken the record for having the most negative house points given to each student of Hogwarts.

The whole week passed with escalating fury from the potion master. He was trying very hard to avoid Harry at all cost, but to no avail. Whenever he sensed that he might have escaped from him, it seems that the boy hero had a way to find him, even in the most peculiar places. And when he does, Harry would just greet him and asked brief questions such as,

"How was your day, Professor?"

"I didn't you see at lunch. Have you eaten yet?"

"Nice weather we're having, haven't we professor?"

He can't figure out how the boy does it, which made him detests Potter ten-folds.

'What does he want? He liked me? The hell with that, he must've wanted to get one off. He isn't serious is he? Maybe he just wanted sexual partner, yeah that's right, besides I don't swing that way. I'm a guy for Merlin's sake and an old guy!' Snape thought stressfully as he was marking his student's essay. It was Saturday morning; he decided not to have breakfast in the great hall and simply ordered from the kitchen.

There was a pop and a grouchy-looking house-elf appeared in the middle of the room, carrying a tray of food. Snape scowled at the elf. 'He seemed familiar,' he thought.

"Where do professor sir wanted to put it sir?" mumbled the elf.

Snape pointed the nearest available table to the elf. The elf placed the tray of food on, and then it spoke again.

"If the professor sir still need anything -"

"Wait a minute, aren't you Potter's house-elf? The one he inherited from Black?" he asked irksomely.

"Certainly professor sir, I is Kreacher sir. Harry Potter was master before sir. I now work for Hogwarts under Headmaster Dumbledore sir," said the elf, a grate in his tone.

Snape eyed him suspiciously before he dismissed him.

Once the elf left, he went over his tray of food, examining it for possible food poisoning. Confirming that it was just plain food, he sat on his comfy chair and started to eat. Feeling ridiculous of himself, 'gods, I'm becoming paranoid.' He thought.

A letter was hidden under the napkin; he didn't notice it until after he's having his tea. He pulled it out, and it was addressed to him. He unfolds it and read:

_Dear Professor,_

_ Meet me by the castle's entrance gate at seven tonight._

_-Harry_

Once again he choked on his tea, 'what the hell? What for? Who the hell he thinks he is?' he thought irritably. In his anger he incinerated the letter its ashes went into the air.

Snape decided to have a straight talk with Potter; he stormed out of his chamber and went to seek out Potter.

The sun had set yet he still can't find the boy anywhere. He had just realized he had spent the whole day searching for him and kicked himself mentally for that act of foolishness.

The clock at the clock tower strike seven, then he remembered Potter wanted to meet him at the entrance gates.

Hesitantly, he strode down the hills, passing Hagrid's hut, which seemed deserted and into the entrance gate. There he saw Potter wearing a black suit and tie, standing and grinning at him as he approaches.

"Professor, I'm glad you came, I though you won't show up," said Harry cheerfully. "Wearing the same outfit as usual eh?"

"Well, you, Potter had just proven your genuine stupidity. Your letter didn't contain any reason as to why do I have to meet you here," said Snape sardonically.

Harry blushed, "Oh sorry about that, I – am, that's not important, now, come, we have to go." He said with a hint of urgency on his tone.

"Go where exactly, Potter? If you're looking for someone to play with, you'll have to find someone else. Please stop wasting my time." he said irritably as he made a move to walk back to the castle.

Harry pulled his elbow a bit hard which made him staggers toward the boy. "Just come with me, I won't do anything to hurt you. Come on," said Harry as be basically dragged him out of the gate.

"Let go of me Potter this instant!" he demanded, but before he could jerk his arm off the boy, both of them had apparated.

They have arrived stumbling in a deserted parking lot, and finally Snape had wrenched out his arm off Potter's grip. Throwing a very nasty look at the boy.

"Where in London, if you're going to ask, come, there's my car. I made a reservation; we're going to have dinner." said Harry in one breath as he lead the way.

"Reservation for Mr. Harry Potter," Harry told the hostess and she led them to their table.

Judging by the looks of place, it seemed that they were in a high-class restaurant.

"I admire your expensive taste, Mr. Potter, but I can't afford to dine here." said Snape sourly.

"It's my treat." He said smiling.

There was a pause as the waitress delivered their food on their table and pour wine on their glass. Harry instructed to leave the bottle with them.

Snape scoffed, "yes, inheriting a lot of fortune must bores you, so why not waste some on an old poorly professor. Right, Mr. Potter?" he said, as he drained the wine and poured himself another.

"No, you're wrong. I don't do this out of boredom. I told you, I like you." Harry said with emphasis.

"Yeah right, but you see Mr. Potter, I -"

Harry cut him off, "Professor, please eat." He insisted.

They ate in silence, Snape glancing occasionally at the boy. He watched the boy as he eat. 'Truly, you haven't change have you? You're still as stubborn as before, you don't listen to others, always going by your instinct. Your eyes are still the same, green as ever just like your mother.' he shook his head at that thought.'

Harry glance up at him and Snape looked away, taking another sip of the wine.

"Is the food alright, professor?"

"Yes, delectable." He replied. His cheeks were getting hotter, maybe from the wine.

XXX

The next morning, Snape heard a faint creaking from somewhere.

"Uhn," he stirred, he was lying on his back in a bed, head buzzing. 'Shit! Must have been drunk again,' he thought dizzily and then he heard the creaking sound.

'What was that?' he thought. He felt a familiar twinge of pain from his backside, his eyes flew-up open in shock.

"Potter!" he bellowed.

Harry was in between him – inside of him to be exact, holding both his legs upward.

"Oh good you're awake, I don't want you to fall asleep while we're in the middle of doing It." said Harry.

"In the middle of - what do you think you're doing Po - Ah."

He moaned as Harry thrust into him.

"Potter s-stop. Ngh."

Snape put his hands on the boy's chest to push him off but Harry caught his hands and pinned them both over his head with one hand, using it as leverage as he thrust deeper into him.

"Potter it hurts - Oh." Snape whimpered, he was anticipating the pain but it never came, nevertheless it felt oddly very pleasant.

He cried out in pleasure as Harry prod into his sweet spot. He had lost control over his body as it respond vigorously, snapping his hips upward as Harry thrust into him.

Harry let go one of his leg to grab his neglected cock.

"N-no, s-stop, H-Harry." at that sudden slip of tongue Harry pumped his swelled shaft rapidly and after a while Snape felt a wave of tingling sensation rippling on his stomach.

"H-Harry, s-stop, I-I'm coming." He moaned but closed his eyes disbelieving the illicit sound he was producing.

"Severus, look at me." Harry panted.

Snape hesitantly opened his eyes, to meet Harry's emerald green ones, filled with desire, staring deeply onto his onyx ones; he felt a jolt passion spread all over his body.

"Together." Harry moaned as he and Snape climaxed together with a scream.

Snape trembled under him as both of them drew deep breathes.

Moments later, Harry was still inside him.

"Potter, how long do you intend to stay in there?" Snape barked incredulously. It seemed he had gained some of his energy back.

Harry slipped out of him.

"What do you think you're doing?" he shouted as he hastily sat up and threw a pillow, hard, on Harry's face.

Harry's expression didn't change, the fervour in his eyes were still on them as he once again advance unto him.

"Were not done yet." he intoned.

"What?" said Snape hysterically, pushing him away. "Why do you think I would let you do that kind of thing again?" he said in total rage.

Harry stared confusedly at him, "But, we - we're dating now, aren't we?"

XXX

_"Dating? What dating? When did that happen?" Snape asked in hysteria._

_"Starting from yesterday." Harry replied as he attempt to lean on him again._

_Snape shoved him away without and a word he stormed out the room._

_Outside, he realized they we're already at Hogwarts and he must have been inside Potter's chambers._

He cringed at the remembrance of the last night's events.

His mood didn't improve much the next day, as he sat grudgingly on his work table in the middle of a potion class. On the contrary, it became more malevolent.

'Is he serious? What the hell he was thinking? Dating? He must have dated me to have a sexual partner. Potter must be laughing at me now. What does he sees in me that kept him pursuing me? But why I can't resist him? Why on earth did I allow him to do that to me?' he thought angrily.

He cursed aloud and stood up banging his hands on the table which startled the fifth year Hufflepuff, who jumped out their heads off their cauldrons while brewing complicated potion. Snape strode toward them to check on their progress and by the end of the period half of the class were given detention and fifty point deduction from their house point for totally absurd reasons such as: for messy work table and because the person next you has also a messy work space; for talking, for whispering, for asking questions (since the instructions are on the board it is not appropriate to ask questions), for looking at the cauldron of the person next to you, for scratching knees, for inhaling a loud and even for blinking rapidly.

By the end of the week students avoided him in the hall and in the corridor at all cost. Snape had become a human ticking-bomb. One wrong move and he will explode into pieces.

When Friday arrived, Snape had received a notice from Dumbledore. Snape went to his office.

"Please sit down." said the old man sitting from the back of his desk as he came in "lemon drops?" he offered.

"No. Thank you, Headmaster." Snape replied as he sat down at the chair in front of the desk.

"Is there something you wanted to tell me, Severus?" inquired the headmaster; his eyes were again scrutinizing him.

"Headmaster, you were the one who called me here, weren't you?" Snape said tartly.

"Ah yes, about that, it seemed I received many reports about you terrorizing our students. Parents were alarmed and advised me to take action about it. I am concerned, what seemed to be the problem, Severus?" Dumbledore told him calmly, as he examined him under his gaze.

Snape frowned, "Well headmaster best tell those parents that they should first instil some intelligence to their precious sons and daughters before they -"

But Dumbledore cut him off with a gentle wave of his hand.

"Severus, I don't think it is because the students lack the knowledge or sense of responsibility. I heard you impose detentions and deduct huge amount of house points just for petty or sometimes frivolous reasons." he said.

Then there was silence.

Dumbledore went over to pet his phoenix, Fawkes, and Snape looking indignantly.

"Well, I can sense that something is troubling you, Severus, but I will not compel you to tell. I wanted to help, however I can only give solutions if the problem is known. I believed, you are aware that you can trust me, aren't you Severus?"

In the end Snape told Dumbledore everything that happened between him and Harry Potter.

Dumbledore smiled at him, "Well, it seemed that Harry is sincere when he said he liked you. I sense no deception on his intensions. He just -" he paused to find the right word. "Maybe he really just likes doing IT with you, because that way he can express the genuineness of his feelings towards you." He said.

"But, headmaster, I- I do not swing that way. And even if I do, Potter might think that I'm using him as a replacement for his mother." Snape reasoned out.

"Hmmm... personally, I don't think Harry will assume that way. He knew his own identity, he knew he can never be his mother nor his father even if in his looks they we're alike. He's a sensible boy - no, he's already a man." Dumbledore corrected himself. "He is responsible enough to choose to whom he'll give his heart to."

At that Snape, blushed. "But I don't -" he stuttered.

"Well, if that's what you really feel, it's probably best to tell him personally. You don't want to hurt his feelings, do you Severus?" we're the last words Dumbledore told Snape before he left his office.

XXX

Snape didn't sleep that night; he kept thinking how he will tell Potter that he is not interested in him. That it is best for him to find someone of his own age to be with, since there is nothing he can offer. Potter has everything power, fame, fortune and a lot of people practically worship him. As time goes by Potter will eventually get tired of him and will pick someone who can give him what he wanted.

But at the same time the words that Dumbledore said to him last night were ringing in his ear. 'I don't want to hurt Potter, but I don't want to be hurt either. I've suffered enough, losing the only girl I've ever loved. I haven't opened my heart to anyone after that. Still, I am uncertain of Potter's feelings. It's too painful being alone and abandoned. I don't want to undergo through suffering once again.' He mused, a tear was threatening on his eyes, but he blinked it away.

The sun was already at its high point. Snape's head was tucked under his pillow, struggling to get some sleep. Then he heard soft knocks on his door.

He ignored it, but then the knocks grew louder. He furiously got out of bed, cursing under his breath.

Snape flung his door open, and to his astonishment Potter was standing outside his chamber door. Panic took over him; he slammed the door shut on Potter's face.

"Professor, open this door, please." called Harry on the other side, as he continue to rap the door.

Snape took a deep breath and decided that this is the best time to confront Potter.

Once again, he opened the door, but was again surprised when Potter deliberately pushed him inside and forced him to get change.

"Pray tell, Potter, as to why we are here?" Snape demanded.

They were now the standing in the deserted seventh floor corridor. Snape glared at Potter, whose eyes we're closed as if concentrating on something.

Then a door appeared in front of them.

"Get inside, professor." Harry told hm.

Seeing his hesitation, Harry went in first and called him from inside.

Snape reluctantly followed Potter. He was slightly surprise when he saw the inside of room. The room was set up to look like a duelling stage just like they have in duelling club. As to why Potter decided to set it up in here, he had no idea.

And as if Potter had heard his thoughts, "We're in the room of requirement; I asked it to set-up a duelling stage for the two of us. I planned to have in the great hall but there would be many on-lookers and besides in here we can use any kind of spells we want and you can even use the killing curse on me if you like." he laughed nervously at his last word.

Snape raised his brow at him.

"Uhm, just so you know this is a date." Harry continued.

"Huh?" Snape blurted out, but before he could protest any further, Harry was already on the stage brandishing his wand.

"Ready professor?" he asked.

Snape sneered and went toward the stage facing Harry; they bowed at each other and raised their wands.

In a split second torrent of spells were being casted at each other, Snape was having trouble of dodging some of them while Harry dodges and repels the curses superbly.

Snape cast a non-verbal one, but Potter shouted 'Protego' with much gravity on it that the spell Snape casted rebounded hardly back on him. Snape reacted poorly that he was thrown off the stage and landed roughly to the ground.

Alarmed, Harry got down from the stage and went to Snape's rescue. "Professor, are you alright?" he said, worriedly.

Snape's view went unfocused probably by the impact. "Can you stand?" Harry inquired as he helped him to get onto his feet.

"I'm fine Potter." Snape said when he gained his balance and brushed off the dirt from his robes. And to his surprise he saw the fear in the boy's expression.

"Don't worry Potter, I'm not dying." He said scathingly.

"But you're bleeding." Which he is, he has a cut on his lower lip.

Harry leaned in closer and placed his lips over his. His eyes went wide and had an urge to push the boy away but before he do, Harry backed away. Snape blushed.

"That should do the trick," Harry said smiling. "I'm sorry, I got too carried away." He apologized.

Snaped eyed him spitefully "You wanted it serious, Potter? Get back up there and don't hold back." He challenged the boy.

The Gryffindor on him flared up as Harry bravely accepted the challenge.

They were back on it again and this time they we're fighting equally. Snape's reflexes seemed to have awakened as he dodge and repel the curses flying toward him with ease. He never felt as energetic before as to now. A bit contented as his stress from the pass two weeks have seemed to be diminishing.

Harry on the other hand, was really not holding back, as Snape felt the gravity of the curse bouncing on his wand; nevertheless Snape enjoyed it and made him a bit proud that his ex-student could produce such powerful spells.

The duel concluded on a draw, and left Harry and Snape panting for their breaths.

"Tha-t w-was fun, wa-sn't it professor?" said Harry beaming up on him.

'Yes it was, very much. Having this match with you was the most enjoyable experience I had since -.' was suppose the reply Snape would give, but he cut off his trail of thought and just chooses to smile.

"Oh god!" Harry exclaimed which startled the older man.

"What's wrong?" Snape inquired anxiously.

"You smiled."

"Huh?"

"Professor, you smiled!" Harry said jubilantly, "you know, ever since I stepped into Hogwarts I never seen you smile." He said cheerfully.

"Really?"

"Yeah, back then and before now, you always scowl like this." Harry placed his two index fingers above his brows and pointed them together in the middle of his forehead, he's supposed to be imitating his scowling face rather he made a comical frowning face.

"I don't look like that." Snape said defensively.

"Oh yes you do, professor." Harry laughed at his own mockery.

"Stop calling me professor, you're not my student anymore."

"Uh, what should I call you then?" Harry asked.

"You called me Severus once," he reddens at the thought of that day.

"Then call me Harry," Harry beamed.

"Harry."

"Severus."

There was a tingling effect from the way Harry rolled over his name on his tongue, which made him quiver inside.

"Oh, wait a minute prof - I mean Severus," Harry blushed on his mistake. Then he conjured two comfy chairs and a tea table. "Let's have some tea before we leave, shall we?" he said.

Snape nodded. After that, Harry summoned Kreacher and asked him to bring them some food and tea.

Not a moment later Kreacher came back with a tray full of sweets and a large pot of tea. Harry thanked him; he vowed and vanished with a pop.

"Try that treacle pie Severus, Kreacher baked them personally." Harry pointed the probably most revolting treacle pie he had ever seen, "well, they looked a bit repulsive, but I assure you, they're not poisonous, and they're rather very tasty." He said when he saw the disgusted look on Snape's face.

Snape tried the pie and it was indeed, very delicious.

They ate and to Snape's surprise, he marvelled that they could pull-out a civilized conversation between him and Harry without hurting each other. Actually, he felt comfortably at ease talking to him. Mostly, he enjoyed listening and sometimes commenting on Harry's stories. He even laughed for the first time and Harry pointed that out.

"Uhm... Severus, how was your arm? Uh... you know the one with the mark? Does it still hurt?" Harry asked, pointing on his arm.

Snape tried to feel his marked arm and answered, "No, it doesn't hurt for a long time and I suppose the mark was barely there anymore." He said.

"That's good!" Harry said with a tone of relief.

He stared at Snape for a moment and questioned him again, "Have you watched my Quidditch matches? You have received the tickets, haven't you?"

Indeed, Snape did. Ever since Harry joined professional Quidditch team, he's been receiving free front-row tickets from him every season. But Snape haven't got the time to watch any of them, so he stowed the tickets away.

"Yes, I have received them, thank you." he said.

"Really? So have you come to watch?" Harry said expectantly.

"Just the last one." He lied. He could tell that Harry didn't believe him but conceded otherwise.

"Just that?" Harry said crestfallen.

"Yes." He deadpanned.

"Oh... Uhm, it's getting late, we should probably get going." Harry said. There's a sound of disappointment in his tone.

It was already night time when they went out of the Room of Requirement. Harry offered to walk him to the dungeons before he would go up on his chamber at the top tower. Snape agreed.

There was a deafening silence as they walked down the stairs and into the halls of the slightly deserted castle, nobody was on sight and Harry had stopped talking to him. Only the echoing sound of their footsteps could be heard.

From time to time Snape would glance at Harry; disappointment was visible on his face. A couple of times their hands brushed, Snape would flinch, and Harry would apologise.

When they were near the dungeons Harry finally broke the silence, "Severus, I want to show you something neat," he handed him a parchment.

"This is just a parchment Harry, what's so neat about it?" Snape deadpanned.

"Ah, well, look closely," he said and then muttered, "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good." And a map of the entire Hogwarts grounds appeared, with little moving dots and a name on top of it.

"Uhm, this is how I manage to locate you wherever you are, as long as you're within Hogwarts." Harry explained.

"You, impertinent brat! Why would you do s -" but before Snape could finish his rant, they have arrived in his chamber.

"Well, here we are." said Harry, "It's been a great time, thank you for accompanying me." Harry said sincerely.

Snape blinked, "I should be the one who's thankful." He said

"Right, Good night then."

"Good night." Snape replied back as he entered his chamber.

XXX

Their date ended up so simply. Snape was expecting Harry would do something just like before.

'But maybe, if we'll have more dates like this - maybe we can simply be friends?' Snape shook his head, disbelieving his thoughts. 'Harry and I can never be friends, can we?'

"Oh shit! I forgot to talk him about - argh!" Snape said irritably to himself.

He tossed the map somewhere in his living room and went to change his clothes into his pyjamas, which were usually white button-down shirt and cottony pants.

He was brushing his teeth when he heard knocks on the door.

After rinsing, he opened the door and saw Harry standing with a recognizable glint in his eyes.

"Did you forget something, Mr. Potter?" Snape tried to make it sound tartly but his nervousness dominated in his tone.

Snape was completely stunned when Harry forced his way in, slammed the door behind them and pinned Snape on it, "It's such a waste if we just separate like that." He said, his eyes gleaming with desire.

Harry kissed him roughly the lips and he tried to resist, "Stop that Potter! I told you I don't like this!" Snape shrieked.

"But, last time you said it was fine." Harry told him as he restrained Snape's thrashing. "And it's Harry." he whispered and he kissed his way up to his ear and gave it a lick which sent tremors in Snape's body.

"When did I ever say that?" Snape snapped.

"At the night of the party," he said then he continued his assault kisses on him.

"That's because I was drunk!"

"So?" he said with a serious look in his eyes. "I asked you to go out with me, and you agreed happily." Harry told him and kissed him again with much fervour.

'Shit! Why I don't have the strength to resist this boy - man. He's arms were strong yet there was something strange the way he holds me. He held me as if I was going to break apart.' Were the trail thoughts that were running through his mind as Harry licked his lower lip begging for entrance, but Snape denied him.

"You really like buttons do you?" Harry whispered and then he snaked his hands under the shirt to tweaked one of his hardened nipple which made Snape gasp in surprise and Harry seized the opportunity to drive his tongue inside the older man's mouth.

Snape tried to fight off but his resolution was wavering as well as his body.

Somehow they - rather Harry, had managed to get to Snape into bed.

Snape was lying on his stomach while Harry entered him from behind.

"Uhg, Sev, you're so tight," Harry moaned behind his ear.

"You - Ah, you, stop saying ridiculous things!" Snape panted while Harry thrust into him.

"Say my name, Severus," Harry hummed behind his ear which sends spine tingling sensation all over his body.

"Ngh - N - s-stop, Har- Potter Ah..." Snape berated himself for making such noise under the boy's - man's touch.

'Oh fuck I certainly didn't drunk tonight but why this feels so good?' Snape thought.

"Please Severus, say my name," the boy begged imploringly as he grabbed Snape's erection and pumped it in time with his thrust.

"Uh... H-Harry, don't - Ah!" Snape whimpered when Harry rubbed his thumb on the head of his dripping cock.

"Harry stop t- Oh!" Snape moaned loudly. Finally, Harry found his prostate. His pace grew faster and he plunged deeper hitting Snape's sweet spot in every thrust. Snape screamed Harry's name, he couldn't think of anything other than Harry. His mind went blank while his body shivered in ecstasy.

A moment later the both of them came together long and hard, Snape spilled his cum all over Harry's hand and into his sheets, Harry's seeds filled-up his arse. Snape uttered Harry's name like a mantra while Harry held onto him until they fall asleep.

The next morning, Snape woke up with the realization of the things that happened last night, he cursed under his breath, felling a great self-hatred of himself. He felt tired.

He shifted to see the sleeping body beside him, Harry Potter, sleeping soundly and serenely right next to him.

Snape looked closely at the sleeping man, he observed his face starting from his scar, and he felt a sudden pang of pain on his chest. He ignored the feeling away and continued surveying the man. 'What long lashes does he have,' his eyes wandered from Harry's eyes to his nose and then to his plumped lips. Snape went scarlet red, and instantly took his gaze away from Harry.

Sighing he sat up, 'I should be angry at this guy but I couldn't bring myself to, it's just ridiculous and besides, last night it - I felt so good.' That thought made him blush even more.

Then Snape remembered what Dumbledore told him, _"Maybe he really just likes doing IT with you, because that way he can express the genuineness of his feelings toward you."_

'But what are his feelings? He said he liked me, but as to what extent? Does he like me just for my body or -' he paused his trail of thought and shook his head. 'I don't know, maybe it's just by chance that I got drunk that night at the party and he took advantage of me, and he must've thought that I liked him that's why he kept telling me he liked me too, right? That must be it, which makes me -' At that his heart gave another twinge of pain. 'Not contented and very empty.'

Snape got out of bed, put on his robes and sat on the couch. 'Empty eh? Well I have been empty since before, so I supposed I should get used to it by now, but - why do I feel miserable?' he sighed again and choose to distract his musing by reading the Daily Prophet lying on the table and was shocked at the headline.

**_HARRY POTTER, THE SAVIOUR OF THE WIZARDING WORLD, GAY?_**

**_Harry Potter, the boy-who-lived and saved the world from utter distraction was accused of being gay. A witness from Hogsmead told us that he saw Potter being kissed by a tall, dark, and shadowy man in a dark alley bordering between Hogsmead and Hogwarts. The witness even caught a photo of them._**

It seemed the picture was taken the night they have come back from their dinner in London. Harry's scar was somewhat noticeable in the picture but Snape was just all shadows.

**_The witness cannot identify the identity of the man, but it seemed that Potter liked being kissed. –cont. on p.10_**

"Potter!" he bellowed loudly at the still sleeping Harry. "Potter! Wake up! Get up! Up! Now!" he barked aloud.

"W-what?" Harry said groggily.

"Have you seen this?" Snape said, frantically brandishing the paper in front of him.

"Uh yeah, it's a news paper, what's wrong with it?"

"Have you read it?" he snapped very impatiently.

"Uhm... I'm not sure, why?" Harry asked confusedly.

Snape threw the paper at him and he scanned it. "Oh, this was last week's paper, you have to buy a new one Severus and throw this one away." He said and he crumpled it, threw it in the hearth which it caught fire.

"Do you want coffee?" Harry asked, ignoring the irritated look on Snape's face. He called Kreacher once again to fetch them hot coffee.

"That's not the point Potter!" Snape practically screamed. "Haven't you read the head line? They we're suspicious of you being gay! And someone had our -" he turned deep red, "- our photo for Merlin's sake!"

Harry sniggered, "You're always serious Severus. You don't have to worry about that, I already sorted that out. I came clean and I think they've accepted it," he shrugged. "And for how many times do you want me to beg you to call me Harry?"

Snape huffed, strode out the bedroom towards the living room.

"Severus, wait! You're coffee," Harry caught up with him and handed him a cup.

Snape sighed, "Look Po- Harry, you just think they have accepted it but what if they don't and what if they found out one way or another that the person who was kissing you in that photo was me? They'd be furiously disgusted, taking advantage of their saviour?" he said.

"But you're not taking advantage of me; it was uhm - the other way around and besides I really like it." Harry protested.

Snape shook his head, "You just don't get it do you? I'm an ex-death eater, sure you have cleared my name in front of the ministry and have been given honours because of you but that doesn't mean people would forget my past?"

"They believe in everything I say so if I say you're not -" Harry insisted but was cut-off furiously by the older man.

"Potter! What in the hell did you see in me? I have done terrible things to you before, you hated me, and I loathe you. I do not possess fortune or fame like you does and apparently I'm not even good looking and obviously I'm too old for you," he said exasperatedly. "You see Potter; there are lot men out there who would want you as your partner, who can satisfy you, who are much younger than me. And I cannot confine you here, just because of your petty feelings for me, you have your whole life ahead of you and someday you'll get tired of me and will have to find someone else." Snape was amazed that his thoughts were pouring out of him.

Harry leaned onto him and gently cupped his face.

Snape looked into those emerald orbs and reality hit him: that he can't be with Harry even if he wanted to, even if he might also have feelings for the boy, because he doesn't have anything to offer him, just his heart, but that might not be enough.

He was about to be kissed by Harry when he pushed him away, "Potter! Please think of our relationship as if it never happened." He said very loudly.

Harry stared at him confusedly, "What? ... Never... Happened?"

"That's right! And also, I do not want to see you again!" Snape said. 'At least until I forget these feelings. To stay by your side would only be painful.' He thought.

"Things are like that, I'm sorry Potter." Snape finally said. He magically clothed the young man and shoved him out the door.

'This is probably for the best Harry.' Snape thought, starring back through the closed door.

XXX

Since then Harry didn't bother him at all; he didn't even come back that day after he shoved him away. Whenever Snape had seen Harry in the castle, it seems like there's nothing wrong with him, he'd talked normally with other professors and would usually teach his class. But he really did stay away from him; Harry was now the one who backs away whenever they'll be coming across with each other. It made Snape upset, as to why, he doesn't know, it's just his heart constricted each time he would see the Harry retreating from him.

The situation continued until a couple of months had passed by, Harry rarely went to the Great Hall for meals, rarely attend faculty meetings and if he did, only his physical being was present, but mentally absent. He even missed some of his classes, sometimes Snape would substitute for him because Dumbledore asked him to. His attitude not attending on his classes had become a habit that got on Snape's nerves.

"Headmaster! He has become irresponsible, he had been neglecting his classes and I can't always substitute for him!" Snape complained.

"I'm sorry Severus, but we're trying our best to locate him."

"Locate him? What do you mean?" he asked incredulously.

"Harry has been missing two-weeks ago." Dumbledore said.

"Missing?" Snape said, "Do you mean all the time that I've been substituting for him, he's gone missing? Why I only know this now?" he said sceptically.

"Oh, I thought you know. I'm sorry Severus, I'm an old man, and I tend to forget things." Dumbledore said apologetically. There's an odd gleam in his eyes.

Snape frowned, huffed and went out of the office; he went down the spiral staircase and straight up towards the highest tower, halted in front of Harry's private quarters and violently rapped the door, "Potter! Potter! Open up Potter! Get out of there! Stop lazing around and do your duties!" he practically yelled in outside the corridor.

No answer came from inside. "Homenum Revelio!" Snape pointed his wand infuriately towards the door. It revealed Potter wasn't in his chamber. He resentfully went down the marble staircase to the entrance hall wondering anxiously where Potter might be.

Students who had the permission to visit Hogsmead had just arrived from their trip.

"Hey guys!" a Hufflepuff called his friends from behind, "Have you gone to see the Shrieking Shack?"

"Oh yeah, we went there, it is said that it's the most hunted place in whole Britain," Uttered one of his friends.

"That's right and I think I heard someone sobbing from the inside, it gives me creeps." the guy shivered.

Snape ignored them and went out to ask Hargrid, he might know the whereabouts of Potter. More students were entering from the courtyard.

"...It's true, I heard it, I think someone's crying," Said one of the Gryffindor.

"...have you heard the voice inside the shack, its crying eerily." whispered one Ravenclaw.

'They heard someone crying? That's impossible, Remus hasn't returned, has he? Even if he did, it's not even full moon yet.' Snape mused. He had a hunch.

He hurried back inside the castle pushing students aside, and went straight into his private quarter. 'I think I placed it here,' he thought while he rummaged frantically on his things in the living room.

At last he found the Marauder's Map. "I Solemnly Swear that I'm Up to No Good," he muttered on the parchment and the entire map of the Hogwarts grounds appeared on it.

He unfolded the whole map and looked for a dot bearing Potter's name on it. Snape found it motionless inside the Shrieking Shack. He had proven his hunch. He hurried towards the Whomping Willow, the access to get inside the Shrieking Shack. His heart racing beat.

'What's this? Why am I eager to see him? Am I just bothered because he's neglecting his teaching duties - no, I don't think that's it. Even though I'm the one who pushed him away, I wanted to see him,' he thought as his heart constricted.

Snape had immobilized the tree by poking a knot in the middle of it. He went inside, climbed the stairs and saw a door ajar at the end of the corridor. As he walked near to it he heard a stifled sob. His heart beat raced so fast.

'It's because I don't want him to see me just as sex partner, I want him to acknowledge me as his, I want him to be mine -,' realization came on him. 'Oh shit I think I've fallen for him.'

He peered inside and saw Potter lying in a ball on the floor, weeping. His hair was sticking everywhere (well there's nothing new about that), his chin had uneven stubbles on them, his eyes puffed from too much crying, and he obviously haven't bathe for days, his clothes were looking like rags. He opened the door, "Potter!" Snape bellowed.

When Harry saw Snape standing on the door way he stood up instantly and basically run towards him, "Severus!" he exclaimed and hugged him. "Severus! You came! I - uh," he let go rapidly and avert his eyes away. "I'm sorry; you told me you don't want to see me so I just came here." Harry muttered.

"What are you saying Potter?" Snape yelled.

Harry went back to where he was lying before and sat there knees folded in his chest, sulking. "Oh don't mind me, I'm always Potter to you and I will never be your Harry right? I'll probably get through this, I don't know." He shrugged.

Snape saw the pain etched in Harry's visage. His heart constricted once more. "Po - Harry, come with me," he commanded.

"To where?"

"Back to the castle."

"Why?"

"Because everyone's looking for you."

Harry frowned, "No thank you, I'll just stay here." He said.

Somehow Snape forcefully dragged Harry back to the castle, down to the dungeons and into his chamber.

Moments later Snape almost had heart attack when Harry emerged from the bathroom. Fresh and clean, his towel was wrapped on his waist. Snape blushed, at the sight of his Quidditch-chiselled body. "Here, try if it fits." He said. Handing him some change of clothes.

After Harry had been completely cleaned, and clothed Snape offered him a cup of tea. Nobody talked for a while. Snape's heart was still beating out of control.

"Uhm, I'm sorry, I really should leave." Harry said breaking the silence and walked towards the door.

"Harry."

"I'm sorry, Severus, I promise I won't bother you again so -" he said as he was about to leave.

"What do you keep apologizing for?" Snape asked exasperatedly, "Besides, where are you planning to go? You've made everyone worry. You neglected your responsibility as a teacher and make other people do your job for you. Typical for the boy hero who will just do whatever and whenever he wants, eh?" Snape said the words before he could stop them.

Taken aback, Harry stood there staring at him with a pained expression on his face, "Don't worry, Professor, I'm going to submit my resignation to Professor Dumbledore. I'm going to quit."

"What are you saying?" Snape asked confused, a bit of colour drained from his face, pang of pain hit his chest.

"Everything is meaningless now that you have rejected me," Harry said, "It was of you that I become a professor, but since you really hated me then there's no point anymore, so I'm going to quit." He said dejectedly.

Harry was reaching the door when Snape grabbed his upper arm, "Harry! What do you mean by -," he pulled Harry with too much force that he staggered into him. Snape was shock at the closeness of their distance as he was facing him.

"I've always like you and I have fallen in love with you." Harry said, earnestly. Snape's eyes widened mouth agape.

"You have fallen for me?" Snape said unbelievingly.

"Yes, I did. I loved you since before the war, since I was your student. I know back then that it's not normal but I can't help it, can I? I am this, I am gay." Harry said. "So I just kept it away. I was hoping, maybe someday, I might get over my feelings for you, but I didn't. After the war I decided to become an Auror to protect you, to set you free from the ordeal you had with Voldemort." He continued, "And I did protect you very well."

"Is that why you were relief to see my mark fading?" Snape said.

Harry nodded, "And I also joined the professional Quidditch team because of what you said to Draco before, if you can remember."

Snape think very hard, and then a memory came to him. It was one of the Slytherin Quidditch match, Draco was persuading him to watch their game, but at that time, Dumbledore had entrusted him to carry out an urgent mission. So he said was:

_"Please professor, we can't win this without your support! We need you there. You like Quidditch right? My father told me you're a big fan of this sport." Draco said._

_"Indeed I am, but I have something urgent to attend to and unless you were playing in professional Quidditch team then I shall put it to my top priority to watch it than to do anything else, no matter how important they are." Snape retorted._

He was only saying that so Draco would stop pestering him about the game. He didn't expect that Harry heard their conversation and would take it seriously.

"I trained very hard to get into the team, I wished for you to watch every single match we had that's why I sent you all those tickets." Harry said.

"But why didn't you say anything to me after all this time?" Snape asked.

"Well, because, you had always seen me as a mere remnant of my father and I also know the feelings you hold for my mother. But I don't want you to see me as James Potter or be a substitute for Lily, yes, I was born from them, but I have my own identity, my own resolution, my own brain, my own heart, I have my own right to choose whom I want to love, and it's you whom I want to spend my entire life with." Harry said. There's a deep longing in his tone.

"The moment Remus told me about their migration and that Hogwarts needed a replacement for him, I volunteered right away and quitted being an Auror and playing Pro-Quidditch. I did that because it would take me closer to you once more, and I thought I could change your perception towards me. I wish you to see me as plain Harry, not a hero or saviour, just your Harry."

Harry hugged him, but Snape stood there frozen. "I pulled out all my courage to talk to you on the night of the commemoration party. After confessing to you, and hearing you say "fine," I felt so much happy."

'So that's what happened, then when he said "let's go out," he really meant that he wanted to date me? He said he loves me, he loves me so much that most part of his life revolves on me.' Snape thought.

"I know you really despised me for saving you, but I can't lose you, I can't lose the person I love, who helped me to defeat the dark lord, who protected me from him. I can't let you die, it'll be too painful, and I cared for you so much it hurts." Harry said almost sobbing.

Then he pulled out himself from the embrace and looked Snape seriously in the eye, "But I suppose it's over now, isn't? Clearly you rejected me; you said we can't see each other anymore. I'm sorry, I must have been a nuisance to you, so I'll get out of your hair and I promise never to bother you again." Harry said. He turned his back to him and went out of the door.

Snape wanted to say something, but what? He wanted to move but it's seemed his foot was rooted on the spot. He didn't hate Harry, in fact he liked him too - no it's more than that, he loves him too, he wanted him too. But he can't say the words out. He, Severus Snape was speechless for the first time in his life.

"Harry!" he yelled but it was too late, Harry had left him.

XXX

Snape suddenly felt miserable and his heart constricted even more. He refused to stay there and let Harry get away, so he forced himself to yank the door open and sprint outside. Harry was nowhere in sight so he thought, if he was Harry, where he ought to go? Then he remembered his resignation, so he walked hurriedly towards the top tower, hoping to caught-up with him.

To his relief Harry was about to enter his private quarters. "Harry!" He called.

Harry turned around and was surprise to see Snape, running toward him, and then came into a halt.

There was glorious silence.

And unexpectedly Snape grabbed him from the back of his head and kissed him forcefully on his lips.

"Severus?" Harry said completely confounded after Snape kissed him.

"Swipe that stupid look on your face Harry; I just gave you a kiss didn't I? Snape said, "You're not dumb enough not to understand what that means are you?" he said blushing.

Harry smiled innocently, "Hm... I don't know. Does this mean I'm not rejected?" he teased. Harry saw the irritate look on Severus, chuckled. "Right, so I guess I'm not." He beamed. "Would you like to come in?" he said.

They went inside; it was first time for Snape to have a look around inside his chamber. The last time he was here he stormed out in anger. It was as cosy as his. Clean and neat, he didn't expect Harry would be this tidy. The only difference was Harry's quarters were much brighter than his own in the dungeons.

"Uhm... I really wanted to kiss you, can I kiss you?" Harry asked. He sounds a bit ecstatic.

Snape raised an eyebrow at him, "You've kissed me many times before without my permission, why is it you bother to ask now?" he said.

Harry chuckled, "Yeah, your right, I'm sorry, I just - I'm so happy. All these seemed surreal." He said.

"Then let me prove it's real." He said and went over to Harry, cupped Harry's cheek. He leaned close to his face and he whispered, "kiss me."

Harry closed in the gap and kissed Snape passionately. Harry snaked his arms around Snape's shoulders to deepen the kiss.

Snape melted to the kiss as their tongues danced sensually together and it sends jolt of pleasure down his groin. He rubbed his hard-on on Harry's thighs.

The need to breathe broke the kiss, leaving them panting. Harry smirked towards Snape, eyeing the bulge in his pants.

He led Snape to sit on the couch. Harry, kneeled between Snape's thighs, began to unbuckle and unzipped his pants, pulled it down and pulled out his erect and throbbing cock.

Harry looked up at Snape as if he was asking permission to suck him, Snape nodded. Harry didn't avert his gaze towards the older man as he ran his tongue from the base of his cock to the tip, slowly swallowing it down.

Snape watched Harry as he languidly bobbed his head up and down on his shaft. Harry maintained his unhurried pace while Snape's arousal was gradually increasing.

"More," Snape begged. He entangled his hands into Harry's untamed hair and gave it a gentle pull.

Harry obliged happily, he swallowed him from the tip to the base of his cock almost reaching the back of his throat and hummed. Snape threw his head back at the tremors of sensation swelling on his body; he was preventing himself not to buck on Harry's mouth.

Then Harry pulled out Snape's cock from his mouth with a pop and began sucking on his balls while his hand pumped on his shaft. That made Snape's eye rolled back from the wave of pleasure.

Harry felt Snape's balls tighten; he stopped sucking them and returned his attention to his cock. He twirled his tongue on his length and swallowed him again, and bobbed his head rapidly, this time.

"More, more, faster, Ah... Oh... Harry, I'm close." Snape moaned. Pulling on Harry's hair and bucking on his mouth. Snape cannot restrain himself anymore.

Harry sucked him fast and hard until Snape finally came spilling into his mouth, screaming in bliss. Harry swallowed everything and licked him clean.

"Oh Harry, that felt good." Snape panted. Harry stood up, leaned over and kissed him, tasting his own juice from Harry's mouth.

"Bed." Harry whispered seductively on his ear and gave it a lick. Snape whimpered.

Harry led the way to his bed room. His white-sheet covered bed was the biggest furniture on this room. And it's very fluffy. He laid Snape down as he hover above him.

They kissed each other in a frenzied manner as Harry impatiently tore Snape's clothes which made the button flew everywhere.

"Oops, sorry about that," said Harry slyly. Snape's brow rose up. Harry grinned.

Under the black robe, revealed a white button-down shirt, Harry sighed exasperatedly, but this time he unbuttoned it slowly, kissing every inch of bare skin that become exposed. With his fingers, Harry traced the scars on Snape's body and placed ghost kisses on them.

Harry nibbled his way down his jaw to his chest. Snape hissed as Harry flicked his tongue on one of his hardened nipples. He was becoming aroused once again.

Snape rolled over with him. Harry was lying on his back with Snape on top of him, eying him with great desire, "This is quite unfair Harry, you still have your clothes on." he said with his dark baritone voice. Harry moaned under him.

"Remove them as you pleased." Harry chuckled but was surprise when Snape took off all this clothes with a wave of his hand, their naked bodies slid against each other.

Snape kissed his way down is chest to his throbbing erection, rolling his tongue around the mushroom-head, licking the pre-come trickling out from it.

Harry moaned in pleasure. Snape enclosed his mouth around the head and he lightly sucked on it. He glided his palms along Harry's inner thigh.

Harry growled, restraining himself not to buck on the older man's mouth. Snape let go the head with a pop. Harry pulled him up so his face was just few inches above him. He looked intensely deep in his dark orbs as he tucked the curtain of his hair back behind his ear.

"I want you to claim me, Severus," he said fiercely. "I want you to make love to me."

Snape responded by kissing Harry's delectable lips vigorously as he straddled him. He lifted his hips and took him slowly deep into his body.

They moaned in unison.

He watched Harry's face as he slowly ground himself against him. "Oh gods Severus, Ah..." Harry moaned as he felt deep and hard inside him.

Harry sat up, keeping them joined.

Snape hissed at how good Harry felt as he wrapped his free arm around Harry's waist. Their joined abdomens were rubbing on his throbbing cock.

He lifted his hips, and then dropped himself down on the young man. "Oh, Severus, more, please." Harry begged.

Harry held him close to him so that he could feel his heart beating in rapid time to his.

The young man leaned his head forward and began biting gently into Snape's neck.

Snape shivered at the feeling of his hot breath, and teeth on his flesh and then the soothing of his tongue.

It was an erotic pleasure so intense that as Harry thrust upward to meet him as he slammed himself down deeper inside him, his entire body exploded into a sensation of colours and sound. Snape slightly angled himself as to simulate his sweet spot. It was electrifying.

Snape clutched feverishly at Harry's shoulder as he moaned deliciously into his ear.

"Harry, I'm coming," Snape panted as he slammed himself down into Harry's cock.

"Yes, Me too," moaned Harry. He laced his hands with Snape. "Together."

They came together in an orgasm so intense, that they cried out each other's name at the same time.

Panting and weak from it, Harry kissed his lips, holding him to his arms until they have calmed down.

"That was incredible," Harry said, still clutching Snape. He lay himself back down. Snape's head slid into his chest hearing his heart beat.

Harry rolled them to the side. He shifted facing the older man and placed himself inside Snape's embrace.

"I want to spend the rest of my life waking up like this." He said. His words muffled into Snape's chest.

"Are you sure, you want this Harry?" Snape asked. With slight hesitation on his tone, "because I am a selfish man Harry, and I would never be able to let you go."

Looking up into his eyes, Harry gently stroke his face, "I don't want you to," he said firmly. "I want you to love me."

Snape dipped himself for Harry's lips. This time it was a sweet kiss.

"I love you, Severus," Harry whispered as he sleepily lean into Snape's arm.

Snape tightened his embrace on the young man, placed a kiss on his head and whispered back, "I love you too, Harry."


End file.
